The best thing to do if you’re an imperfect gardener is to team up with another.

That way, when you kill all of your brassica seedlings with kindness (even the final survivor succumbed to overwatering in the end), you may find that someone else has plenty of spare pak choi and broccoli, but has produced inexplicably feeble and stunted tomato plants while you have enough plants to grow tomatoes for the whole street. (Thanks for the swop, Mum!)

‘Swopsies’ should never be restricted to the playground. If you find another imperfect gardener who is also generous, nurture them as you would a delicate seedling. You never know when you might need to swop plants or dump share excess produce. Just don’t expect them to want to share your courgette mountain!


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